why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
