Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
