It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
