I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
even my farts smell like vagina
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
