if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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