Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
