just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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