R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
