I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He felt like a one man threesome
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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