Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
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She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
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My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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