she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
