hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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