What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
