After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
