She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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