i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
