you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just blew my weed a kiss
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
