This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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