I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
