From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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