whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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