My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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