under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
