I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
