i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
