you will always have a special place in my vag
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
