she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
