Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
