I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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