Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
