I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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