I want to stick my p in your. b.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Randomize
