I seem to have left my pride at pride
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
