So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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