She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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