so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
