the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
