Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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