dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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