I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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