If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
