Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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