hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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