i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
