so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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