just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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