i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
