Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
