My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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