ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
