so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
