if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
