You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
