I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
