i barfeds in our rink
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
