I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
