i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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