somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
