their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
