i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
