google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I need to calm my uterus...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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