Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
