Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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